This I’ve Learned


I WAS THINKING…
about driving on the freeway. I never stop being amazed how so many cars can be so close together and move almost in sync. Of course, there are accidents, but nothing compared to the number of cars involved. I never drove on the freeway until we moved to California from Illinois. My first reaction was…No Way!  I’m not going there! I’ll never learn to survive in that traffic!
As it turned out, I couldn’t survive if I didn’t challenge that sea of headlights.
Since we’re surrounded by freeways, it was either jump in or stay home. I’ve never been very good at just staying home.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN…
you go the extra mile. (because you missed the exit on the freeway)
you never leave the house without a sweater.
you have no idea what the young people are talking about.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
A tour bus full of seniors drives down a highway, when a little old lady taps the driver on the shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats the gesture about eight more times.
At the ninth time, he asks the little old lady why they don’t eat the almonds themselves, to which she replies that it’s not possible because they can’t chew them with their dentures and old teeth.
“Why do you buy them then?” he asks puzzled.
The old lady answers, “We just love the chocolate around them.”

PUNCH LINES
To save money, try plastic surgery…cut up your credit cards.
Who wants to be 95?  Anyone who’s 94.

WRAPPING PACKAGES
(Taken from Reader’s Digest Problem Solve)
Send papers in the mail that you don’t want to fold by wrapping them around a cardboard tube taken from an aluminum foil box. Cover with paper or foil, place back in the aluminum foil box, wrap and mail.
Not sure how much wrapping paper you’ll need? Wind a string around the package, add 2 inches. Use as a measuring guide to cut the wrapping paper.
To have a package tied really tight, moisten twine before tying.  It will dry snug.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.

Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F.

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Theresa Klunk Schultz

1 Comment

  1. Bonnie Bates on December 20, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    Years ago I worked with a woman who’s family had relocated to California from the state of Washington. She had never driven the freeways before. One day she was late getting to work. Her excuse? The police had stopped all four lanes of traffic because she was trying to get to her exit from the inside lane, stopping and starting and never going over 40 miles an hour. The cop who stopped all lanes of traffic guided her off the freeway and told her to stay on surface streets until she knew how to drive the freeways. I don’t know if she ever did learn 🙂

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