This I’ve Learned

as I grow older, I get new pains.  I guess that means I’m normal. I can handle a new pain, only if I know…Why? My imagination usually takes over. I’ll google the symptoms to decide if I need to call my doctor. Once I find the reason for the ‘new pain’, I feel relieved. Usually, it’s not nearly as bad as I imagined. Then I’m thankful. Go figure!  Now I’m thankful for the pain.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

(Taken from an e-mail sent me)
Keep sunglasses in your car. They are not only good for sun but when caught in a rainstorm, put on your sunglasses. All of a sudden, your visibility is clear, as if no rain. You still can see the drops on the windshield, but not the sheet of rain falling.
Never drive in the rain with your cruise control on because if your car begins to hydro-plane the tires loose contact and the car will accelerate to a higher speed making it take off like an airplane.

A stranger enters a store and spots a sign: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep on the floor.
“Is that the dog we’re supposed to be aware of?” he asks the owner.
“That’s him,” comes the reply.
“He doesn’t look at all dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?”
“Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.” By L.B. Weinstein 

Poor handwriting has its advantages; it conceals poor spelling.
A hangnail is a nail used for mounting pictures on the wall.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.

Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F.
Posted in This I’ve Learned


Theresa Klunk Schultz

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