This I’ve Learned

I would never see a time when I wanted to look older. But it happened, just the other day when I was getting gas at Costco. I was having a tough time with tapping my credit card and getting the hose on the other side of my car. I was embarrassed. Then a nice young man helped me. I figured he walked away thinking I was pretty dumb or I was hoping he would think I looked really, really old and he was so proud of himself for helping a dear little old lady.

 Have you ever noticed, for some reason everything is funnier if you must suppress your laughter?
You never really appreciate what you have until it is gone, like toilet paper.
Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

There was a man named John Odd. He hated his last name.
People constantly made fun of him. They called him and his wife “The Odd couple” and named him “The Odd man out”.
So when he wrote out his will, he noted that he didn’t want his name on his tombstone He just wanted to be buried in an unmarked grave with a plain headstone with no name.
When he died, his wife respected his wishes. Now every time someone walks by his unmarked grave they say, “Look, there’s no name on that grave. Isn’t that Odd?”

Put an apple with the potatoes to keep them from sprouting too soon. Put a banana with avocados to speed up ripening.
Extend the life of salad by placing folded paper towel in the bottom of bag or container to soak up excess moisture.

If you jump to conclusions, you may jump over the facts.
You can’t be mean and happy at the same time.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.
Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F.

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Theresa Klunk Schultz

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