This I’ve Learned

about my recent birthday. I didn’t really feel much older until I received a humorous e-mail from someone younger than myself. It said that she was born before these things: television, penicillin, polio shot, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lens, credit cards, ball-point pens, air conditioners, dishwasher and clothes dryers. And she was younger than I am?????? It made me think of something a neighbor would answer when I’d ask how he was. “Well, I’m still on this side of the grass,” he’d say.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
John: I never knew she sold flowers.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, just say, “I forgot the English word for it”. That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

Life Isn’t an Emergency – #22 in this favorite book
We so often turn little things into a big emergency. We take our goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves slack. The first step in becoming peaceful is to have the humility to admit that in most cases, we create our own emergencies. Life will usually go on if things don’t go according to plan. It’s helpful to keep reminding ourself not to fret. Perhaps repeat the sentence “Life isn’t an emergency.”

(Taken from Easy Does It)
Resuscitate limp lettuce by putting it in a container of lemon juice and cold water. Place in the refrigerator for a least an hour.
Partially freeze an onion before you start to slice or chop, and you won’t shed a tear. Also rub hands with white vinegar before and after chopping for no odor.
To get fish scent off hands and utensils, get out the toothpaste. The ingredients that clean and freshen your mouth will do the same for your skin.
To remove silk from an ear of corn, rub it down with a damp paper towel.

Tact is the strongest persuasion
In life’s garden most of what we grow we sow.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.
Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F

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Theresa Klunk Schultz