This I’ve Learned

I WAS THINKING
that another Christmas has come and gone too soon.
I certainly hope it was a fun time for you too.
I was reminded of a poem that I wrote many years ago.
It won 3rd place in holiday writing contest.
It’s called T’was The Day After Christmas. (A take on the T’was The Day Before Christmas)
Here it is.

T’was the day after Christmas and in the middle of the house
 the cat sat purring cause he just ate the mouse.

The stockings were lying all around the floor.
 And the wreath had just fallen from the front door.

And Mama in her apron was about to collapse,
so she settled her nerves before a relapse.

When out of the lawn I head such a clatter.
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the door I stumbled with a crash.
I tore off a button and my head had a gash.

The sun made a mess of the old melting snow.    
And the gusty wind made objects blow.  

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but old Mr. Grady all boozed up with beer.

He was driving his car just lickity split.
I knew in a moment, he was really lit.

More rapid than eagles in a ditch his car came.
He was screaming and yelling and calling out names.

Now, darn it, now………., this road needs a fixen.
It’s crazy and stupid, my head keeps a mixen.

Meanwhile back on our side of the wall,
I was getting all tense and a rash from it all.

Like dry leaves after a hurricane did fly.
The toys were like obstacles for me to walk by.

Then up on the tree top a football flew.
My pressure was rising, my face turning blue.

As I grabbed my head and was turning around,
down came the trimmings and the tree with a bound.

The doll was undressed from her head to her toe.
Where her clothes had vanished, we’ll never know.

A bundle of items was flung in a sack.
They were things we’d have to take back.

Back in the corner Uncle Ned sat still merry.
His eyes how they twinkled as he finished the sherry.

Aunt Martha’s mouths was going like a crow.
The hairs on her chin were as white as the snow.

The dog was now dangled and twisted in the wreath.
The bones from the turkey he held tight in his teeth.

The cat on the table was filling his belly.
When onto the floor came a bowl full of jelly.

Uncle Ned started dancing, cause he thought he was an elf.
I grinned when I saw him in spite of myself.

Now Mama got up to get ice for her head.
But one glance at the tree, she was back in bed.

I uttered some words and went straight to my work,
Until Junior started crying cause his train went berserk.

I threw up my arms and to the family gave a whistle.
They gathered around me as fast as a missile.

And they heard me exclaim as I held my fist tight.
You can stop being merry. Christmas ended last night.

KEEP BREAD FRESH
(Taken from Mary Ellen’s Helpful Hints)
Put celery with your bread to keep it fresh longer.
Freshen dried bread by wrapping in a damp towel and place in fridge for 24 hours.
Remove towel and heat in oven.

PUNCH LINES
Flattery:  Telling someone exactly what he thinks of himself.  
Spendthrift: One who has dollars without sense.
Rush hour: When traffic stands still.
Traffic signal: The green light that turns red when you approach it.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.
Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F

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Theresa Klunk Schultz