This I’ve Learned

I WAS THINKING…
about a lady I saw who I hadn’t see for probably three years. (Of course, because of Covid.) I wasn’t sure it was her. She now had more than her share of wrinkles. And I recently visited a friend who I hadn’t seen for a long time. Covid terrified her so she was glued to her home. Her once beautiful red hair had faded too mostly grey. My eyes wanted to water.
Since my favorite saying is ‘There’s good in everything’, now what?  I finally decided that with this “rapid-aging look” we don’t have to wait as long to see what we’re going to look like when we’re old.

OVERHEARD
Life is like a nice, hot, bath. The longer you’re in it, the more wrinkles you’ll get.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
The problem isn’t that obesity runs in their family. The problem is no one runs in their family.
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal!

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
An old cowboy walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut and he tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’s had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does”.

CARVE A BETTER PUMPKIN
(Taken from Easy Does It)
Instead of cutting a lid on the top of the pumpkin, make a hole in the bottom. Not only will this make old Jack more stable, it allows you to position and light the candle more easily.
HOMEMADE FACE PAINT
For a safe and easy-to-make face paint for Halloween, mix one teaspoon cornstarch, a half teaspoon water, a half teaspoon cold cream and two drops of food coloring,

PUNCH LINES
Borrow money from a pessimist. He doesn’t expect it back.
Money talks. It says good-bye.