This I’ve Learned

I WAS THINKING…
about the You Tube I recently watched showing before and now pictures of celebrities. So many tried to hang on to their beauty by facelifts and Botox, but often did more harm. I guess we just need to appreciate the sagging and wrinkles because that means we lived long enough to have them. So, let’s hope for a lot more. This brought back a memory when my sisters and I would giggle about the boys and the first question we’d ask was “Is he cute?” Mom would remind us that beauty is only skin deep. (Now I’m not so sure about the skin.)

OVERHEARD AT THE SENIOR CENTER
I talk to myself because I sometimes need expert advice.
Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it!”
When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now, it’s like a mini-vacation.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes; come out wrinkle free and two times smaller.

WHEN YOU NEED A SUBSTITUTE
(Taken for Haley’s Hints)
Cornstarch…Flour can substitute for cornstarch if you double the quantity.
Tomato Paste…Small amount needed? Use equal amount of ketchup instead.
Omelets…instead of mixing milk with eggs, substituted ice cold water.
Lemon… If recipe calls for juice from one lemon, use ¼ cup of lemon juice.
Mayonnaise… Use an equal amount of sour cream or pureed cottage cheese.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
(Men’s Favorite Lines)                                                                                                                                
Shouldn’t you be on top of the tree, Angel?
I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number
for insurance purpose.
I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’

PUNCH LINE
Eskimos are God’s frozen people.
A leftover is any food in the fridge that has turned green.

Information for this blog is taken from many sources.
Deem reliable at your own risk.

Punch Lines are complimentary of Fr. John Hampsch, C.M.F.

Big Lips

Theresa Klunk Schultz